Blog | MasteringFood.com


	Member Login			Signup

welcome

start the 12-week program

FRIDAY, JUNE 04, 2010

Use your Mind, Cure your Food Obsession, Change your Life!

Clarity of mind is both the "solution" and the reward that comes when you cure your obsession with food. But what exactly is "clarity of mind" and what is lacking in your life when it is absent?

Let's start with this insightful comment from last week's blog:

"I have been cured of my food obsession. It was a wonderful moment when I realized it happened, it felt like a huge internal pressure had subsided, and a new mental clarity had begun. I have literally grown up. I now know what it feels like to be a full functioning adult. I now experience all life has to offer instead of running away from it all."

There it is, stated as clearly as possible. An attainable goal. Freedom from the obsession with food! To live life with an open mind and heart. No longer running away from the fear of confronting reality, but instead making reality work for you.

Another person recognized that the food obsession was occupying too much of her mind and interfering with her life when she made the following comment:
[more]
"Wow! It must feel amazing. I bet you could start to concentrate on other parts of your life. I cannot wait for that day.”

I'm sure you can imagine what it might feel like to be rid of the huge internal pressure that drives you to food even when you're not hungry? This obsession takes over your days and your nights and keeps you from living as a full functioning adult. The food obsession keeps you numb and exacts a very high price. Most of all, it robs you of your mental clarity.

Another responder longed for her version of mental clarity, a "focused and intentional life" to replace the food obsession that is currently occupying too much of her mental life:

"I was being capsized by uncomfortable emotions every time I saw a plate of food, a jar of candy."

We can all understand what it must feel like to be "capsized" by uncomfortable emotions or thrown out of your own boat. You spend most of your time trying to climb back on board to keep from drowning. The distant shore, or a focused "port" like mental clarity which can bring comfort feels like an illusion. So is the promise of adulthood. But these are not empty promises or illusions. These are real possibilities.

It takes a lot of energy to have a food obsession. You can't really focus on food day and night and also creatively make your life work. The food obsession crowds out the critical faculties required to carry out the adult activity of making your life work. Ending the food obsession is part of the larger life cycle struggle to achieve and maintain your independence and adulthood. Being an adult means you are running your own show.

As I wrote in my last posting, the process of maturing and emancipating yourself from food is critical to achieving this goal. These transitions happen in little ways, but these little ways build until one day there is a clear shift in your life. Your mind opens up, and you are finally in a position to decide what to eat, and when to eat. And soon, maybe not exactly tomorrow, but
soon, you can watch the food obsession retreat into another room, one with a locked door.

There's nothing quite like living with full consciousness. When the food obsession ends, your brain will no longer be foggy, or half-knowing. The eating part of your life will calm down,
the drama will end, and a whole future of discovery will beckon.

Being a fully functioning adult, living a focused intentional life, and taking care of other parts of your life is the reward you get when you break the food obsession and achieve clarity of mind.

Becoming an independent adult is a scary thing for everyone in some way or another.
What do you think you are afraid of?

POSTED BY !DR. GOULD! | 6:21:04 PM

Leave a Comment

Your Name:

Your Comment:

Comments

13 COMMENTS

Maggie said...

I am afraid of men, sex, intimacy. Fat is my protection. Fat makes me invisible to the attentions of others. If I lose weight and become more attractive, how do I keep the attentions of men away from me other than in a professional way? Trouble is now my fear is spreading to include the whole human population. I feel battered by the world. I want to find a safe haven by the sea. I don't belong or feel accepted anywhere. I hate being me.

Anonymous said...

When I'm "capsized" in that moment of confrontation with food, I take a step back and immediately remind myself I have other options activities to relieve or reward myself and I try to figure out what my TRUE needs are in the moment and do my best to fulfill them. Like last night, I was hit with a major craving. After checking in, I realized I needed a break from being in the house all day with the baby so after my hubby came home, I got in the car and went for a very pleasant drive for a change of scenery with some good music and felt much better afterward relief and the craving was gone. Also, this morning I realized I was craving food because I hadn't done the things I really NEED to do in the mornings like make my bed, load the dishwasher - I was lacking focus in my morning routine and felt scattered and insecure I was lacking "clarity of mind" or "clarity of purpose" and once I focused upon clearing my mind used a daily flow list derived from my to-do list and fixed things, my craving immediately went away. Thanks for your help Dr. Gould. I feel more adult now but it's a journey with new opportunities everyday every moment to grow up or to do the adult thing.

kira said...

like emma, those feelings are unbearable... and the sedative is immediate! too fast/instinctive/automatic to pause! pls can you help with this?

Marshan said...

Is it always fear? I am not conciously aware of any fear that keeps me going back to the foodtrance. I do recognize I reach for food to soothe or nuture myself in an attempt to avoid negative or uncomfortable emotions but I dont know that I am afraid?? A major trigger for me is boredom...I guess I have to ask myself why I cannt just be alone with my thoughts and if there is any fear base to this.

Anonymous said...

I am just so afraid of the putting weight back on after I've lost it. How crazy is that. I put 14 pounds back on of the 20 i lost last year, mainly in Food Trances.... Just could not handle stress without food. And also I am scared of being one of those thin people portrayed in the media - there seems to be so much pressure on them to perform in terms of career, sexual relationships, image etc... I'm terrified of more pressure and staying fat is a way of avoiding this. But I need to learn to say no to things and people.

Lanina said...

Being overweight for as long as I can remember, I of who I really am when not hiding behind the fat. What am I capable of? Will people like me when I lose weight? Will I have a richer, more social life? Also like someone else has already posted, I am afraid of the compliments that come with weight loss because I feel that people are just waiting for me to gain weight and judge me negatively...I have been through this before and it is no fun!

Andy95 said...

I'm afraid of recognizing and addressing my imperfections. Without the food to provide the convenient comfort, I have to recognize my faults, accept some, mitigate others as best I can and move on. It's part of being that mature adult I must be and it's time. When I get it right, I can see how freeing it is.

Emma said...

I have been trying this approach and was doing well except for the last week when I have eaten non-stop and felt monstrous. The problem with only eating when hungry and doing lots of excercise which helps is that so many horrible feelings and memories come rushing in and I just can't cope. I want to die when I stop over-eating and can't climb out of this. The food is a sedative and nothing comes close to it. Sorry to sound so hopeless

LinnyC said...

I'm afraid of being happy. I've observed that I often quit things that I'm enjoying. I believe this comes from my background of a mother dying at a critical developmental time. This has and does continue to improve. That was then. This is now.

proud2bme said...

I am afraid of success in some areas of my life, especially weight control. Everyone notices. They give you compliments. It adds pressure. People are watching..are they waiting for me to fail? Will I be able to keep up with the responsibility of maintaining a healthy weight and body? Can I really focus on that with all the other things going on in my life? It's easier if you don't succeed. Then there are no expectations. No wagging tongues or disappointment if you can't maintain that success. That has been my issue. And as a result of this way of thinking, I regained 20 pounds that I lost over a year ago and now I feel stuck.

LP said...

I am afraid of feeling alone. As I am becoming an independent adult, it feels great to take control of my life and make my own decisions, but at the same time it sometimes puts me at odds with others who may not agree with me or understand me. As someone who has always been the "good girl" and needed approval from others it can be hard to stand out on my own.

Inogen said...

In a way, I am afraid of success - I will be alone and vulnerable on my pedestal, for all to see. Who will look after me? Who will keep me safe? I want to be a little girl with my mother looking after me.

creative said...

Two words come up when I ask myself this questin. First, myself, then, failure. These are strange responses from myself and I cannot actually account for them. Why should I be afraid of myself? Failure, yes, I can grasp. Fear of future failure based on past failure. But am I really afraid of failure, or success? Am I afraid of change? Do I fear that? I need to reflect upon this question.

The Shrink Yourself Blog
The Shrink Yourself Blog, hosted by Michelle Fiordaliso, clinical director of Shrink Yourself, gives you expert info on emotional eating.

Recent Posts
Fathers, Mothers, Sisters and Brothers
THE TALE OF TWO SISTERS
All or None Thinking
TRUE WILL
Three Forms of Will Power
Fear, Hope and Growth
Reinventing Yourself: Part 2
Reinvent Yourself
To Eat too much or To Be Free?
Reality is Your Friend
Using Food to Disappear
Blinded by the Obsession with Food
ALMOST CURED
Use your Mind, Cure your Food Obsession, Change your Life!
HEAD TRANSPLANT CURES WEIGHT PROBLEM
When you hurt too much, you eat too much.
Doubting Doubts can make you Thin!
It's doubt that makes you eat too much
EMOTIONAL EATING; SCIENCE AND MYSTERY
FULL FROM THE INSIDE
Stuck, Part Two, My Marriage Makes Me Eat
The Link Between Being Stuck and Losing Weight
How To Feed Insights To The Mind
FEED THE MIND INSIGHTS INSTEAD OF FOOD
FEEDING THE MIND: TEN INSIGHTS REQUIRED TO BREAK THE EMOTIONAL EATING HABIT
FEEDING FOOD TO THE MIND: STAGES ONE AND TWO
FEEDING THE MIND
Only Measure Meal by Meal
Self-Acceptance Starts Now!
If Food Isn’t Love, What Is?
Codependence Contributes to Overeating
3 Ways to Trust Yourself Enough to Lose the Weight
How to Warm Up Without Food
People, People Who Need People
Are Your Resolutions Being Sabotaged?
New Year – New Approach
Same Same but Different
Sweeten Your Season Without Sugar
3 Ways to Try a New Approach This Holiday Season
Holiday Binge Eating
The 12 Types of Holiday Eating & Tips for Tackling Them
3 Ways to Alleviate Loneliness & The Hunger It Creates
Using a Plateau to Propel You Forward: What to Do When You Stop Losing Weight?
My Virtual Shrink: A New Program by Dr. Roger Gould
Be Proactive About Holiday Binging (Start Now)
4 Ways Fat Feels Safe
7 Things to Learn from Successful Calorie Cutters
H.A.L.T. Before Your Next Bite of Food
Do You Get Hungry After Dark? More Information for Night Eaters.
Are You A Procrastinator? A Parent? Try A New Approach
A Shrink Yourself Success Story
Exes and Overeating
This Labor Day: Don’t Work!
10 Things You Must Know About Hypothyroidism
How Stress Gets You Into a Rut that Makes You Overeat
Food As a Form of Punishment
What Can a Year of Shrink Yourself Do For You?
Food is NOT a Reward!
Losing Weight Can Be as Simple as Breathing In
Understand Your Emotions Instead of Eating to Stuff Them Down
Learn from a Former Shrink Yourself Member's Success
The Missing Link to Getting Slim for Summer
4 Ways We Contribute to One Another's Unhealthy Relationships with Food
3 Reasons More and More People Are Addicted to Food
The Darker Side of Emotional Eating: Overcoming Bulimia & Other Eating Disorders
3 Steps to Build Your Own Emotional Eating Rescue Kit
If Not Overeating, Then What?
3 Essential Things to Remember If You’re Trying to Lose Weight
How Long Do I Have to Wait to See Change?
Overeating: How to Avoid Falling Off the Wagon
Food Addiction & 3 Ways to Recover Your Power
3 Ways to Cope with Job Insecurity (Or Any Other Kind of Insecurity)
3 Holes You Might Be Trying to Fill With Food
How the Recession Affects Overeating
To Lose Weight You Need a Team: Who’s on Yours?
Become the Master of Your Emotions in Three Easy Steps
Never Diet Again
The Pause Before the Purchase
New Study Says “Weight Loss Boils Down to Calories” (Don’t Be So Sure That's All You Need)
Come Clean From Sugar Addiction
Overcoming Emotional Eating: A Success Story
Be the Master of Your Emotions & Eat Less
Human Relationships Make Us Eat (But They Don't Have To)
Why Confusion Makes You Eat More Than Many Other Emotions
Caretaking and Overeating
3 Steps to Certain Weight Loss
How to Finally Lose Weight in the New Year
Does TV Make You Overeat?
Don’t Fall Into Old Familiar Patterns During the Holiday Season
Oprah's Struggle with Overeating: What Does that Mean for You?
Overspending & Overeating: What's the Connection?
Gratitude
Men are Emotional Eaters Too
3 Ways to Enjoy the Time Until You Lose the Weight
Is Food Your Substitute for Love?
3 Ways to Combat Perfectionism
Is Food Really Your Friend?
3 Ways to Avoid Weight Gain This Halloween
I’m Doing Everything Right: Why Is the Scale Stuck on the Same Number?
Never Binge Again
Do You Need to Diet to Lose Weight?
The Education You Never Got in School
Back to School
PMS and Emotional Eating
Exercise: A Way to Finally Stick With It
Food Pushers Everywhere You Go
Shrink Your Waist, Expand Your Brain
Don't Speak - Don't Eat
Carol Solomon
Sex and the City
Kung Fu Panda: An Emotional Eater
Overeating Keeps You on the Sidelines of Life
Would You Give a Crying Child a Donut and Send Them Away?
Put It on Paper
Response to No More Cravings from Dr. Gould
Pause and Taste the Feeling, The Feeling That Makes You Eat Too Much
Michelle on Hot Mom's Club Site
3 Reasons You Won’t Lose Weight
No More Cravings: Simple Secret Revealed
The Pain-Body and The Feeling Phobia (A Series on The New Earth by Eckart Tolle)
The Moral of the Story is Care
Being an Adult is the Best Kept Secret
Oscar Snacks
The Devil You Know
Prepare for Valentine's Day
How To Look Good Naked
Happy New Year!
Chair Yoga: Soothe Yourself Right in Your Seat
It's Not Just What You Eat That Makes You Fat: It's What You Drink
Meditation for Weight Loss
How Stress Makes You Flabby
5 Reasons Your Partner Makes You Fat
Sugar, More Addictive Than Cocaine.
Lessons Learned on Halloween (for Next Year)
Diet and Cancer Report
Nighttime Eating
Women: Don't Keep Your Feelings Bottled Up
Quinoa (A Great Grain for Losing Weight)
Oprah Interview
Fat: A Protective Coating
Leslie Sansone - If You Live In A Dangerous Place - Walk in the Safety of Your Home
A National Plan That Misses The Point
What Will I Think About If I'm Not Obsessed with Food?
Shrink Yourself in Psychology Today (August Issue)
The Sum of What Our Program Does
Losing Weight Karate Kid Style
By 2015 75% of Americans will be Overweight
Resistance to the Idea of Emotional Eating
Shrink Yourself on MSN
Fat: A Perfect Hiding Place
Stress + Junk Food = Obesity ** Break The Toxic Equation
Look Out For Articles By Dr. Gould
Is It Too Late to Lose the Weight?
Depression & Anxiety Affect The Outcome of Obesity Surgeries
Are You An Emotional Eater? (An Excerpt from Shrink Yourself)
Dr. Gould on the Huffington Post
Five Tips to End Emotional Eating
Top 5 Things That Make You Fat - True or False
Weekends Can Be Rough for Emotional Eaters
What Excuses Do You Make?
The Ten Habits of Every Successful Dieter
The Eight Signs of Emotional Eating
Loneliness and Overeating
The Deep Roots of Emotional Eating
Best Comment of the Week
April is Emotional Overeating Awareness Month
Good Housekeeping Article Recognizes Emotional Eating
You're Not Alone in Your Efforts to Lose Weight

Archives
None.