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WEDNESDAY, MARCH 19, 2008

The Moral of the Story is Care

Maurice Sendak’s book Pierre tells the story of a little boy who says, “I don’t care “ to everything. When a lion shows up threatening to eat Pierre and Pierre retorts his usual, “I don’t care.” The lion eats him. The moral of the story is, care.

So often I hear people who struggle with their weight say, I saw the piece of cake and a voice inside me said, “I don’t care, I’ll just eat it.” Or [they’ll tell me,] I sat there with the whole box of Samoa Girl Scout Cookies and heard myself say, “ I don’t care, I’ll eat the whole box. After all Girl Scout Cookie season doesn’t come around again till next year.” Or getting ready for the gym and that same voice will say, “I don’t care if I never wear a bathing suit again, I’ll just sit here and watch Oprah.”

I’m here to tell you not to believe that voice. The truth is that you do care. You care very much. That’s why you’ve tried diet after diet and that’s why you looked for and found our website, book or online program.

Human beings feign disinterest when something feels too hard. If you have a child you’ve probably heard them say, “I don’t care if I never ride bike.” “I don’t care if those kids invite me to their party.” They care very much but they’re afraid of failing, and so are you.

It’s not that you don’t care, it’s that you feel defeated. And why shouldn’t you, diets set you up to fail because they don’t offer you the information you need to lose the weight you want. You don’t need an eating plan. You don’t need someone to tell you that a box full of caramel coated cookies isn’t good for you. You know all that.

What you need is to find your hope again by seeing real change. The kind of change you’re looking for in your body begins in your mind. It begins with a conviction to care. Care for your health. Care for your self-esteem. Care for your future. When you care you can stay true to yourself in the moment and make better choices.

POSTED BY !MICHELLE! | 7:39:11 PM

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13 COMMENTS

Carrie said...

Michelle, I want you to know that the words of this particular article comes back to me again and again. I think, "I'll just eat that extra bite of food, it won't matter," and then I remember your admonishment to CARE. Thanks for this one. 9/22/08

Anonymous said...

I do mean 'I feel defeated" when my inner voice uses that ''don't care' phrase. Whatever I have done in the last 5 years towards losing weight just hasn't worked! - I've blamed it on hormones menopause but there is more to it, I've decided that nothing will work - Now is the time to reeducate my thinking patterns. Does anyone else find the l'Oreal tag line really irritating, ie "You're worth it!" How patronising is that!

Michelle said...

Louise, A simple walk or swim is a great way to start exercising. I hate exercise so I make a date with a friend and we walk and talk. Find a way to set yourself up to win.

KS said...

Amen to that. So many times I say or even think "I don't care" when I am frustrated. I think of it as an an easy way to talk yourself into a bad situation.

Reacher said...

Thinking about this article on "Care" not only shows me the extent of my fears protecting myself but to what great lengths I will go to shut down my mind.

Louise said...

Hi Michelle, I used to have an athletic body until I was diagnosed as having osteoarthritis and ever since then my self=esteem has dwindled over the years. I came to feel confused with regard to the kind of medical advice I was receiving but something inside of me kept telling me there is a way...there is a way. I went to my GP as a last ditch for something positive to happen in my life...he sent me to a physiotherapist who instead of pushing and prodding at my joints, did a quick assessment and straight away put me onto a workout program to work my joints which had filled up with water. That was two and a half months ago, I began with a 10 minute ride on an exercycle once a week and today I do a 1hour and 10 minutes workout three times a week. Having focused on my joints I am now at that stage where my weight is now the problem. I feel heavy, always tired but because of the workout program for my joints I have to say I do have moments where I have a burst of energy but it doesn't last for very long. I have finished my sessions with the physio now which was govt subsidised to focus on my weight I would have to pay for gym fees, which I can't afford. I bought an exercycle but I don't feel confident to use it. I could do with some good advice to get me started on the rights kinds of exercise for a weight loss program. That's pretty much where I'm at now and reading your articles on this website has given me some ideas, its just a matter of me making a conscious decision to get motivated. To start caring for myself is to me a good place to start.

Michelle said...

Yes, knowledge is half the battle. As well as realizing you're not the only one who does something. Now, you begin to stop it by remembering that you do care.

June said...

Just realized what my best indicator of an EEE is!!! Thanks Michelle for posting this!

Patty said...

Wow, I do this all the time. Oh, how I wish i had read this blog BEFORE Easter. I was wondering what went wrong on Easter and this story is the answer. I remember specifically saying to myself, "Oh who cares, it's Easter, just give in and eat it!!" You have helped me identify one of my problems. Now I just have to figure out how to overcome it... But knowledge is half the battle, right?

Peggy said...

I was so happy to learn this piece of information on the Shrink Yourself program. It's a natural response to say "I don't care" when something gets hard. It was such a relief to know that there wasn't something wrong with me when I did this. I decided to just take it as a given that I want to take care of myself and lose weight. The sky is blue, the sea is wet and I want to do this. That way, when the "I don't care" voice chimes in, I know not to take it seriously.

Anne Pitkin said...

Thanks Michelle for helping me to see just what is happening when I say 'I don't care'. Next time I think this I will be able to challenge that wrong thought.

abbey said...

thank you, your story really helped, you're right i do really care but i am afraid of failing. thanks

luisa said...

you go girl. i'm very proud of you. you did good for yourself and i hope others learn from you.

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The Shrink Yourself Blog
The Shrink Yourself Blog, hosted by Michelle Fiordaliso, clinical director of Shrink Yourself, gives you expert info on emotional eating.

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